Arnold is five and very much like every other five year old boy. For instance, he’s always getting his clothes dirty from tripping over things (often his own feet) and playing in the dirt, digging holes!
He picks his ears for Ear Wax, and when no-ones looking often his nose (eating the Boogies!) He has to wear hand-me-downs from his older brother, Alan, that have holes in them and look like they have seen better days. He doesn’t eat Brussel sprouts or cauliflower! Ugh! Always wants sweets, and is forever losing his things, like toys and socks.
Arnold thinks that everything is a game. Well you would if you’re five, wouldn’t you? He loves playing trains and planes, much to the annoyance of his brother. Occasionally he’ll do naughty things like break his mum’s favourite ornament or hide Dad’s favourite pair of slippers. On one occasion he said dad’s slippers in the shed. What he didn’t realise was that there was an large gathering of slugs! It had started to rain and well, slugs like to come out when it rains. So they looked for an exit route. Some of these slugs thought that the slippers were such an exit, well it look inviting to them anyway. Although I can’t think why? So when Arnold’s Dad, that’s Mr P. in these tales, found the slippers and put them on his naked toes his feet were greeted with a most unpleasant, slimy feeling! As well as the cries of an angry parent!
“ARNOLD!” Mr P yelled, turning his voice horse!
Arnold didn’t dare hide them thereafter! Mr P decided that slippers weren’t for him! Sticking to socks.
So as you can see, life was all it should be for a small boy growing up in a nondescript house, in a nondescript town. So lets enjoy some of his stories. Arnold – the adventures of a five year old.
There is a house on a corner of a street. It has a front door, one small downstairs window, two above and a small back garden that leads onto a muddy footpath, with a field and woods beyond. This is the house that Arnold lives at with his family; Mr and Mrs P, and his older brother Alan. They live next door to an ageing hippy called Terry. He’s in his seventies now, but still thinks its 1970!
Terry is always playing prog rock records at high volume and trying to convert Arnold to this way of ‘Prog’! He sometimes babysits Arnold when Mr and Mrs P need to take a well deserved break. Which is often!
They are a happy family, enjoying their evenings together, huddled around the TV, watching the latest celebrity reality programme and screaming at who gets voted off. Although Alan being a teenage boy prefers his time trying to chat up the girls, playing games on his phone and pretending to be butch and macho. Secretly though continues to build models and has a teddy bear.
At school he has many friends, oh and some girlfriends too. Although being five he’s not so keen on playing with the girls. He’d rather get muddy or kick a football, pretend to be a Star Wars character and such like. Most of all Arnold loves to use his imagination, which takes him on many strange and wonderful adventures. Some of which you’ll about to read. So let’s enter his world. A world of babysitting hippies, primary school teachers with bad teeth and talking apple pies!